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I am now the mom of a child in double digits. I am not sure how that could have possibly happened to me. I do not feel like it has been 10 years since I became a mom. Each day I learn more and more. When she was 8 weeks old she slept through the night, no sleep training, no books, no cluster feeding, she just slept. At 18 months she talked in full sentences, yes we watching signing videos and learned signs, but there were no flashcards, no quizzing, no constant book reading, she just did it. She never was afraid of new places and going to school was a breeze, she was excited to go.

Once in school she never struggled with homework, and she got straight A’s. She makes good choices and picks good friends that share her values and her likes. She made it easy to be a mom. Now she is 10. All the other years were easy, however I can already tell that my easy years are behind me. She has emotions and feelings and opinions. She is growing and changing and she is not so easy to make happy. She does disobey and she does take things way to personal. Ice cream is not going to solve her problems much longer, and life talks are getting longer and longer. My job is no longer easy. My job has become harder because each day she understands more and more about life. She knows mom and dad work, and things cost money, and hard work brings rewards and there are disappointments in life. She is closer to driving and dating, than she was to diapers and dress up.  It does go by fast, it’s exactly what everyone says, but I am determined that no matter how fast it goes, I will remember and cherish each day and moment that she will allow me to share with her. Happy Birthday my girl!

I’m not really sure if you have heard out there in cyberspace, but Indiana got a whole heck of a lot of snow. Thanks to this wonderful gift, church was cancelled along with anything else that we may have had to do. AJ is also convinced that they had the Colts game on Saturday just because of the snow coming and they didn’t want the game to be cancelled.  For me the number one thing on the list was to prepare for the dreaded return of school. The lunches, the folder checking, the homework, the bedtime struggle.

I still have a reprieve from that thanks to the bitter cold that has followed and made it not so good for the little ones to be out and about. So we here at our house have been able to slow down and enjoy the down time. Sunday I made homemade rolls-from scratch-not the kind that you take out of the freezer and let rise and call them homemade (not that there is anything wrong with that, but that is all I usually have time for if I’m lucky). I made potato soup in the crock pot from a recipe I found on Pinterest.  Yes, I had time to leisurely look at recipes and found my old friend PInterest that I have neglected for far to long. We made homemade cookies-again totally from scratch.

We played games and made a snow man and even watched a movie. It was one of the best days ever because there was no worry that there would be anything that would come up since the roads were closed anyway and it was illegal to leave our little nest.

Today everything was cancelled, even the hubby’s work. So after a conference call and essential duties that needed to be done, I called it a day a bit early-don’t worry-not too early, and we had some more snow related fun. The kids begged to find out just what -11 degrees feels like, so we bundled them up and let them gather some snow to make some snow ice cream, and find out what happens when you take hot water out in this temperature. We had pasta for dinner and garlic bread and then had the best Skippo battle ever. AJ didn’t even get mad when he didn’t win.

I have to admit I am a bit sad that it has come to an end. Tomorrow work is not cancelled. School is so I still get to sleep in, but it won’t be the same. We will not all be safe and sound and playing games and watching movies and eating yummy homemade meals. Am I the only one that was totally fine not going anywhere, because my husband can’t wait to get back to work, just because he wants to get out?

Oh and thank you modern technology and social media because my kids think I am awesome that I knew how to make snow ice cream!

Happy New year! Or as my 2 year old Dylan would say-Happy Tuesday!

We had a lot of first this year. It was the first time that we sold a house, the first time we had to move, and the first time we had to all move in with someone else. It was the first time we all took a road trip to Florida-and I have to say that was my favorite first of all. It was the first time that Dylan-our 2 year old-did not need a pacifier or his mom to go to sleep. It was the first time my daughter Lauren made the Spell Bowl team, and the first time AJ made the all-star soccer team.

For Ellis is was the first time he got hooded when he went to graduation and earned his Masters in Informatics. For me it was the first time I had to quit a job that I loved and say goodbye to some of the best co-workers I have ever had. I also started working full time for the first time since I had my kids. I have to say this full time job has been a hard transition but I know once I finally get the hang of it, it will be good for my family as I can make sure I’m there for all the good firsts 2014 brings.

We did have some not so good parts of 2013, such as having a memorial for a friend that passed away right after Christmas in 2013 and my aunt battling cancer for the second time. Events like these make me realize just how precious each new year is, and how important it is to not dwell on the negative. Here we go 2014-bring on some more firsts-A couple I know we have on the books is having a child in double digits, and a new house!

What firsts do you have planned for this year?

I wish I have had more time to write on my blog, but today I made the time. I think for me being able to write things down helps. Today would have been my Dad’s 68th Birthday. I can’t really even believe it has been 13 years since he passed away. I think about him all the time, but on days like today it is really hard to not let the sadness take over. I drive by one of his old jobs every day I go to work. Most days I just pass and smile thinking I am glad I am surrounded by memories.

Like when we used to come to work with him on Saturdays when we were kids and push the carts around the warehouse or my brother and I would chase each other down the isles. Other times I would think about the Arby’s that used to be there and how he would let us go there for a treat if we had been good while at work with him.

Today was hard though. Today when I passed by I was overcome with loss. I could not help but feel what I was missing. I am missing his advice on buying a new house. I am missing him getting to play with his grand kids. I am missing him listening to me about my worries over my choices and if I’m doing the right things. I’m missing his advice on how to help my 6 year old that never wants to be still, just like my Dad never liked to be. I’m also even missing us getting together and having pizza. Everyone is busy and I’m sure thinking about him in their own way, but to me its not the same.

I try to not let myself dwell on the negative. I try to think about how I am grateful for all he taught me and shown me. I try to think about my belief that I will one day see him again and be able to talk to him. But today, today I really just want to be mad. I want to cry, I want to feel anger. Then I see my kids. Each one has a piece of him. Lauren has his love for milk and chocolate. Aaron has his work ethic and need to constantly be doing something-as well as a love for sports. Dylan-he has his mannerisms. He puts his hands behind his head like my dad did. He has his compassion. He greets everyone with a smile and a friendly greeting no matter who they are. I don’t have my dad, but I have reminders-daily constant wonderful reminders of the awesome person he was.

So last Friday we closed on our house and did not have a new place to move too…what? I know we are crazy. For me it is extremely hard because I like order. I like things to be in place. Right now I can’t even find my coat.

We are set to move again this weekend and then again when our house is finished in March. I figure by the time this is over I will be the biggest expert on moving and packing and De-cluttering there is.

I have to be honest, I did not think I would be sad to leave my old house. Of course all the kids were brought home there, they had their first steps and first words there. They played in the yard there and learned to ride bikes there. I was totally content to making new memories and being in a house we could have birthday parties at and invite friends over. Then my little Dill pickle asked to go to “my house”. It was so hard to explain it to him and I really didn’t think he would even be phased by it. He liked being at “Aunt Mary’s house” but now he wants to go home. He doesn’t understand. I hope it will be easier for him once we are not right next door to our old house.

I also have to admit, I am exhausted and I could not have done all of this moving without the help of my family and good friends. I was overwhelmed at all the support we got and are getting to help us to get something we didn’t think we would ever be able to get-and that is a nice new house to make a home!

I learned that family vacations are something that we need to do more often. I learned that there is never a good time to take a trip or enough money, but do it anyway.

I learned that Lauren really really loves dolphins. She is not very patient, but she will wait all day to get close enough to touch a dolphin. She also loves the ocean and has no regard for just how dirty she can get in the sand.

I learned that Aaron loves to ride in the car. He also loves football more than I had even realized. He was in Heaven having a TV with the NFL channel all to himself.

I learned that Dylan does not like the ocean. He does however love putting a bucket on his head and running around the beach. He also loves water of any kind. He has also found a new favorite animal-the penguin.

There were so many great things about our trip, but the most important thing I learned is just take pictures, take note, and take the time whenever you can.

So when to decide to sell your house, you hear all these stories of people that sell their houses in a month or two. They maybe have one or two showings and they are done. That is not what we experienced. We had to clean the house any time we left. We didn’t make dinner some nights for fear we would have to leave and not have time to clean up.

This week was no exception. We got called for a showing and of course I was working and was running late. My son learned how to clean counters and vacuum floors quickly. He helped so much to make sure we were ready. At it finally paid off. We got an offer. Now until we close I will not get my hopes up too high, but today when they asked for a showing and there were cars all over the floor, laundry all in baskets, and me not even dressed, it was great to be able to say NO!

I am glad that we have had this experience because it has helped to teach our family that anything you want takes effort and not everything comes easy or when you want them. Some things come to us when we need them, not when we want them. With the time frame, if we sell the house we will have a place to stay, the new area in the addition opened up and we can get the lot we really want.

I hope this deal goes through and we can finally build the house we want and make it our home.

So September was basically horrible. I ended a chapter of my life very unsure I was making the right decision. I started something new, and I am still learning. I was working very long hours and work was all consuming. I really had my doubts that I had done the right thing.

Now it’s October, I love October. Probably more this year than any other. Despite the little hiccup of being side-swiped by a semi and the darn government shutdown, October has treated me extra good so far. Aaron made the all star team in soccer and his coach-who played in college told him that he needed to stick with it and he had what it took to make it far. That boasted his confidence so much and now he was agreeable to letting me tell his Aunts, Uncles, and Grandma when his game was. I was forbidden before then. Lauren got her Young American Poetry book in the mail, and she was overjoyed! She has decided that she wants to be a teacher AND and author. Today Dylan has made the growth charts and is in the 20% percentile. He will not be a linebacker anytime soon, but the routine visits to check on his growth have stopped-finally!

To top it off, fall break is just around the corner and there will be sleeping in, apple cider, zoo trips, and now an all star soccer game. Not to mention an actual VACATION!

Now October, don’t let me down, I did call you my favorite after all!

Today was my first day of my new job. I have been with the company for a few months, but I took a new position, and it is partly what I already new how to do and partly all new. I am excited to branch out and get out of my comfort zone, but I was terrified to leave my home base and security of the hospital. The move was mainly for the freedom to be more flexible with my schedule and have the ability to be home when the kids are home.

On my way to work were reminders of my past co-workers from the hospital and it made me miss them all over again. At work there was a nurse that we were talking too that raved about her case managers at work and all they do. At this point I think, I have made a horrible mistake.

Then it happened, my friend told me that my son was sick. Although I knew she could care for him just as well as I could, you don’t leave your sick kid with a friend and expose him to her kids when she is just trying to help you out. I was able to go get him and finish up work from home. Exactly what I was trying to do. I also saw a couple of familiar faces at the office and know that they will be new friends very soon. One of them I know will let me eat lunch with her when I’m at the office, so don’t worry hospital buddies, I won’t always have to eat only.

As I have said, change it hard, but as one of my buddies told me as I was leaving the hospital, “if you don’t make changes you never know who you might meet, because if she hadn’t come to the hospital we never would have met”. I am excited to meet new people and most importantly, I am excited I could rock my little man all evening and wait until he was in bed to finish my work.

Well today was my last day at the hospital. I have worked there for almost 10 years and today I had to say goodbye. It was so hard knowing that it was the last time I would likely be setting up transport to the Heart Hospital, and the last time I would be walking up to the unit and rounding with each nurse.

What is harder is that it was the last time I got to order lunch with the girls, at least as their co-worker. It was the last time that the residents came to find me. It was the last time I had to clock in and out-anywhere. I can’t even being to tell you all how much I loved my job and getting to know my co-workers. I have never quit a job and been this sad. I have also never quit a job and had so many people tell me to keep in touch, and MEAN it.

Change is hard, very very hard. I hope that some day I will be able to feel this same way about my new adventure, I better get ready, I start Monday!