For the past 12 years today has not been my favorite day. It was my dad’s birthday. Each year I am reminded it is another year he is not around and another year we have to miss him. I found that the first couple of years on this day I could not function. I found I needed to plan nothing, do nothing, but try to get through it. We started a tradition of getting together as a family that day, remembering him and having one of his favorite meals. For the first year we went to a fancy restaurant, however the years after we found that pizza was a better option, and his favorite food, well that and milk.
Over the years that tradition has comforted me. I know that my dad is not forgotten, and that my kids now know a little bit about my dad. They enjoy his birthday-almost as much as Christmas because I let them open one present-and I know that is what my dad would do too. If he was here he would probably let them open 3 presents! Today my son woke up and the first thing he said is, “is it Grandpa’s birthday? Do we get to open a present?” Instead of the dread, I felt happy. I felt peace that my kids are excited about this day. I know that today I will still feel sad, alone, hurt, angry. But I will also feel a little peace that I know that I will see him again one day, and that I have successfully helped my kids to know their grandpa even though they have never met him.
Today I think of even more than myself. I think of all those that have lost someone and I just hope that they are able to find a bit of peace or tradition of their own that will help them when they feel loss. Happy Birthday Dad,I love you!
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